


I Wanna Fuck You

by Ludholtzjj



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Death Threats, Drama, F/M, Humor, Overprotective Robb Stark, Romance, Sexual Humor, Text Messages, Y'all already know what's up lmfao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 01:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15719418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ludholtzjj/pseuds/Ludholtzjj
Summary: "IF YOU LAY EVEN A SINGLE FUCKING FINGER ON SANSA I’LL CHOP YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"What happens when Jon accidently sends a text meant for Sansa to Robb instead?





	I Wanna Fuck You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tubbylita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tubbylita/gifts).



> Wahahahaha round #3! 
> 
> Thanks @ Akon and Snoop Dogg for the fic title LMFAO!

_Jon Snow has created a new chat_

 

**JON:**

_I wanna fuck you_

**ROBB:**

_…_

**ROBB:**

_Excuse me WHAT??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_Oh shit!_

**JON:**

_My bad that was meant for Sansa_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_Shit._

**ROBB:**

_…_

**JON:**

_Robb I swear it’s not what you think_

**ROBB:**

_…_

**JON:**

_Robb we’ve been bestfriends since we were children, you’ve gotta believe me!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_…_

**JON:**

_Robb come on mate, please!!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_…_

**JON:**

_… Robb?_

**ROBB:**

_YOU FUCKING DIRTY SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_IF YOU LAY EVEN A SINGLE FUCKING FINGER ON SANSA I’LL CHOP YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_I’LL RIP OUT YOUR FUCKING ORGANS WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH??????????!!!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_Robb_

**ROBB:**

_TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE FUCKING AT RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_ROBB! YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO ME MAN!_

**ROBB:**

_WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO A FUCKING BALD CUNT LIKE YOU??????!!!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_… Robb I’m not bald_

**ROBB:**

_NO! BUT YOU FUCKING WILL BE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_NO NOT THE HAIR!_

**ROBB:**

_YES!!!!!_

**JON:**

_NO!_

**ROBB:**

_YES!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_NO!_

**JON:**

_ANYWAY LOOK MATE YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME IT’S ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING!!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_…_

**ROBB:**

_DO YOU THINK I’M A FUCKING IDIOT??????!!!!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_BY THE OLD GODS AND THE NEW I’M NOT A FUCKING IDIOT LIKE YOU, YOU FUCKING DAFT COW!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_…_

**JON:**

_I’ll let that one go but only because you’re clearly upset_

**ROBB:**

_UPSET? UPSET???!!!! WE’RE WAY PAST ME BEING UPSET YOU DUMB CUNT!!!!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU STOP INSULTING ME AND THREATENING MY LIFE SO I CAN FUCKING EXPLAIN MYSELF??????!!!!!!!!_

**ROBB:**

_…_

**JON:**

_I WAS GOING TO TELL SANSA “I WANNA FUCK YOU” BECAUSE IT’S A BLOODY FUCKING ACRONYME!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_F = fall in love with you_

****JON:** **

_U = unleash all my love on you_

**JON:**

_C = cuddle you for hours_

****JON:** **

_K = keep your heart safe_

**ROBB:**

_THAT’S SOME FUCKSHIT AND WE BOTH KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_FUCKING WHATEVER ROBB!!!! CLEARLY YOU’VE GOT YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR OWN ASS YOU CAN’T EVEN LISTEN TO SOMEONE ELSE'S FUCKING REASONING!!!!!!!_

**JON:**

_FUCK YOU!!!_

**ROBB:**

_…_

**ROBB:**

_…_

**ROBB:**

_Do you love Sansa?_

**JON:**

_Yes, of course_

**ROBB:**

_Would you take a bullet for her?_

**JON:**

_Yes_

**ROBB:**

_Lovely, meet at our house in the backyard in 10 minutes._

 

_Jon Snow has left the chat_

**Author's Note:**

> YOUR DRUNK UNCLE IS BACK! 
> 
> To answer your question, yes Jon was bullshitting Robb; that was self preservation right there! BTW sorry this one took me so long, my computer froze! Ya home girls in the middle of a thunderstorm so the WIFI is spotty... well a little more than usual anyway! Oh also I know I originally said 4 fics but fuck it y'all let's do 5! Lord knows I can't sleep anyway! (I'm totally healthy) 
> 
> Okay but like no joke the fic title came from a song lol, it's "I Wanna Fuck You" by Akon ft. Snoop Dogg 
> 
> I give everyone the express permission to call me Jen or Jenn since there's like 3 of us 'Jen's' that I know of in this fandom lol!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @Ludholtzjj


End file.
